The Magic of “Le Pause” from Bringing Up Bébé: The French Secret to Better Baby Sleep

Have you ever felt like you’re racing to respond to your baby’s every cry, even in the middle of the night? Oh you’re not alone, I've been there! But what if there was a gentle, French-inspired approach that could help your little one become a better sleeper — and help you catch a few extra zzz’s, too?

Learn from my mistake 🙈

Let me share a story about my sweet daughter Marlowe 💓...

When she was 11 months old we moved from a single-story bungalow into a 2-story home. In the bungalow, her bedroom was located right off the living room and when she would wake-up, I would be in there faster than a prairie fire. 🏃🏼‍♀️

My fear was, if I waited, then she would escalate and it would take FOREVER for her to get back to sleep (sound familiar?).

Well, night 1 in our new house and my husband and I were watching a movie on the main floor. I heard my daughter wake-up-ugggghhhh! "I'm going to finish this scene, go to the bathroom, and then I'll go nurse her", I told Jordan (my husband)

So I did just that, but was so surprised at what happened...

I wasn't even at the 2nd step of the staircase on my way upstairs and she stopped crying, so I waited...and waited...and waited, and...nothing! 🤯

Not.A.Peep.

She put herself back to sleep!!!

"How many times have I rushed in and maybe she would have just gone back to sleep if I had waited?" I thought.

Turns out, quite often.

From that night on, with the help of "waiting, (i.e, le pause)", her sleep improved.

Then I read Bringing Up Bébé by Pamela Druckerman and this phenomenon made total sense. It turns out that french babies sleep quite well, who knew?

What is “Le Pause”? 🤔

Simply put, “Le Pause” is the practice of waiting just a few moments before responding to your baby’s cries. French parents don’t rush to pick up their baby as soon as they hear a sound. Instead, they take a pause — typically just a few seconds or up to a minute — to observe what’s really going on.

To be lear, I am NOT talking about cry-it-out here. Instead, it’s about giving your child a chance to settle back to sleep on their own, something that babies are often capable of, even at a young age.

Why Does It Work? 💡

When we respond immediately (that was me), we might be unintentionally waking our baby more fully or interrupting a brief “cry in their sleep” moment. Many times, babies will stir between sleep cycles, cry out, or fuss a little, but that doesn’t always mean they need to be picked up. Just in case you missed that, I will repeat.

⤵

Babies cry in their sleep! 🤯

With “Le Pause,” you’re simply giving your baby a moment to see if they can calm down and return to sleep independently OR waiting to see if they are ACTUALLY awake.

You see??? I wasn't even giving Marlowe a chance to go back to sleep, I was intervening right away!

How to Implement “Le Pause” 🕰️

1. Observe Before Reacting: When your baby fusses or cries, pause for a few seconds and watch. Listen to the intensity of their cry. Are they just stirring, or do they seem distressed?

2. Count to 10 (or 20!): Allow yourself to wait for at least 10–20 seconds before intervening. This brief window will help you assess if your baby is truly waking up or if they might self-settle.

3. Gradually Extend the Pause: As you get more comfortable, try extending the pause to 30 seconds or even a minute. Sometimes, babies just need a few moments to re-adjust and drift back to sleep.

4. Know When to Step In: If your baby is escalating in distress or not settling, it’s perfectly fine to go in and soothe them. This isn’t a rigid rule — it’s about observing and responding thoughtfully. As i always tell the families I work with "respond to them based on what they are communicating they need".

Why It’s a Game-Changer ✨

“Le Pause” helps babies become more aware of their own sleep needs and less reliant on parental intervention. In the long run, this can lead to more independent sleep habits — which means longer, uninterrupted sleep for both your baby and you! And hey, more sleep often leads to more "joie de vivre!" (see what I did there? 😆) 🙌🏼

Final Thoughts 💬

Remember, what works for one may not work for another, every family and baby is different, so it’s always important to trust your instincts and do what feels right for you. If you’re interested in learning more about “Le Pause” and how to apply it to your sleep routine, feel free to reach out — I’m here to help!

Bonne nuit,

Hali