Create a "Yes Space" to Help Your Child Sleep

It’s no secret that I believe play during the day helps babies and toddlers sleep better at night and a crucial component of play is to have a safe space for your little one to learn and explore freely. Janet Lansbury calls this a “yes space”. She says that you should have a yes space for your child “so that we don’t have to constantly interrupt and feel we’ve got to keep our focus on all these things our child is doing all the time. So that we can relax. Our relaxation, I really can’t say this enough, is the key to our child feeling calm, to our child being able to be a productive explorer, and to be able to focus on their positive activities instead of getting hooked into the stress they feel coming from us.”

When trying to make changes to sleep at night, it’s important to give your child choices and control over parts of their life during the day. Power balance is necessary so that your child feels like they have autonomy. Think of how frustrating it would be to be told “no, don’t touch!” every time you wanted to touch something. To be held back or picked up each time you were trying to move forward and explore or to be interrupted mid-play to have your bum cleaned-so frustrating! Repeatedly being told no, being yanked about against your will and constantly being interrupted creates frustration, tension and anxiety. Just thinking about it makes me feel anxious.

Now imagine allowing your child to explore and play freely in a space that you know is completely safe. You have some time for YOU to grab a coffee, write a quick email or sit and relax in silence. You will feel calm and therefore so will your child. You will head into bedtime more relaxed and at ease and your child will not only pick up on your feelings of well-being but will also feel relaxed after a great day of play and exploration. Science has proven that our emotional state during the day directly impacts the quality of our sleep at night, so if your child is free from frustration and stress then they will inevitably sleep better.

If you are trying to change your child’s sleep habits at night and setting some new rules or boundaries, don’t you think it’s fair to balance that with your child having some freedom to do what they want to do during the day? I definitely think so!